Good Sexts Rules Nobody Told You Anything About

If you are in a relationship, actively dating, on the prowl, or haven’t been living under a rock, You must be familiar with the term ‘sexting’. A lot of people are doing it. Sexting is a common practice among most daters. It is a virtual sharing of intimate conversation between two consensual adults. No doubt it is fun and can keep things fresh in a relationship. Especially if you are in a long-distance relationship. However, it can also go horribly wrong.

Sexting is a thin line and must handled with caution. If you are struggling to maneuver the bumpy road of dating and sexting, we have your back. Let us go through specific rules to abide by when you are sexting. It is not that hard to follow and is indeed something which will keep you from making any inappropriate mistakes.

Sexting 101

Gauge your partner’s comfort level: It is all about the vibe

There is no surprise that everybody has a different definition of ‘hooking up,’ and so is the case with sexting. Does your definition match with your partner’s? If you are yet to have in-person contact it is imperative to ensure that your intensity and intentions are matched with your partners.  It is okay to ask your partner what is their comfort level and expectation, don’t be afraid to bring it up. Before you start the conversation in a particular direction, be sure that this is what your partner is in too. There must be no ambiguity. Being direct never hurts. Don’t just assume that they are equally excited and double check before you make any move.

Compliments and encouragements go a long way

Sexting is a tricky practice, as you and your partner are baring your insecurities and desires to one another. So encouragements and compliments can help in smoothing out any awkward moments and help your partner feel more confident. No doubt it’s just words, pictures, and imagination, but a little enthusiasm can make it a little more pleasurable. It lets them know that they are wanted and being desired and it makes a huge difference as a result. The truth is, texting is awkward in general. Getting a boost of self esteem from the partner can make things move a lot easier.

Don’t be discouraged if you don’t get the desired reaction.

Since there is a lot of vulnerability involved, it is very easy to find it disappointing. Everyone communicates differently, and the tonality might be not clear in texts. Therefore, don’t let it get you down if you don’t get the desired answer. It is by no means a validation to how you are. If the reaction is not great, don’t be afraid to revisit the sexts. Discuss what worked and which part just did not. Also, The other person might just be self-conscious and not confident enough to tell their real feelings.

Don’t take silence to mean you weren’t good . They might be just not quick on their feet with their response. The truth is you aren’t really there, so it is easy to get lost in translation. If you don’t see them jumping for joy as a reaction, it’s okay. That might not be their personality or they might be shy and don’t want to seem to overjoyed.

Don’t spam them with unprecedented ‘intimate’ pictures

To put it gently, nobody wants to see your genitals. Especially when it has no relevance to the conversation. You can’t just throw your dick pic and expect a round of applause. Of course, if it is requested or talked about and gradually escalated to exchanging pictures, sure, why not. But not when it is followed by ‘Hi’ and ‘What are your hobbies’. Just saying. You will be ghosted real quick. However, it is okay to send a personal picture if you are already in the middle of the sexting and the situation demands it. In fact, you don’t want to assume and offend anyone with something they don’t want to see. It is embarrassing for the both of you and will take awhile to bounce back from.

Don’t sext on the dating app.

It is generally a protocol that you must have graduated past the initial small talk and get to know each other before you sext. Just think, if you are confident enough to share your number but, are you sure you want to have intimate conversations? To each their own, but sexting is best as a non-app communication. This way there is at least a minimum degree of mutual trust. It is best if you first get to know each other a little bit. Later you can gradually move to a private phone number. After that, you can start getting busy.

The way dating and sex used to look like a decade ago is much different from how it is now. Earlier it used to be a series of events which occurred after each other. However, there is no succession or a hierarchy anymore. In fact, the acceptable norms are very confusing for a novice to recognize. There is no doubt that the protocols of dating and sex have changed in the last few decades. The lines are blurry and crossed and redefined all the time.

The only rule here is to be on the same page as your partner. When in doubt, err on the side of caution and do not do anything which will disrespect one another. It’s better to be conservative than a big perv, remember consent and respect are the main keywords here. Sexting is a great tool to keep the sparks flying.