It can be very intimidating dating a woman with kids. If you really are interested in her, and the idea of raising a child that isn’t yours doesn’t scare you off, how can you make the relationship work? Here is a little advice for dating a single mom.
First of all, it is important to remember what her priority in life is. Her kids have to come first. You haven’t made a commitment yet, but she has a commitment to take care of them. That’s always going to be number one to her. If you can’t handle that, don’t start something you can’t finish.
Let her know if you don’t see yourself as parent material. She may want to just have fun, but more likely she is looking for someone to help raise the kids. At least give her the opportunity to make that choice if you have no interest in being a dad.
Getting to know a woman is tough enough, but you are going to have to get to know her kids too. Each one is an individual, and while you aren’t dating the kids, it’s almost like you are interviewing for a parenting position. You can’t replace their dad. In fact, if he is still in the picture, you are going to have to deal with that too. As the relationship progresses, you will have to show that you can handle the children in a disciplinary sense as well as just caring for them enough to know their names and what they like or dislike.
Obviously, you need to get to know her better, and at first she may be happy to get a sitter so the two of you can be alone. At some point, however, you are going to have to plan activities that the kids can enjoy. She will want to see you interact with them before the relationship can truly advance. Plan a trip to the park, a petting zoo, an aquarium, or something else fun and educational. If she can see you all together as a family then you are sure to have the opportunity to take things to the next level.
There are obviously complications to dating a woman with children, but if you love her there can also be great rewards. Even if you never saw yourself as a father, you may learn to love her children as your own. At the very least, you can be something that they need, a second parent who is present. When it comes to dating a single mom, remember that she has a different top priority that you, unless you are a single dad. Then you may have plenty in common.