Everyday Lifestyle: How To Complement Someone

Criticizing and complaining has ingrained in our everyday lifestyle, it is almost impossible to get away from it. We do it almost subconsciously, without being aware of the effect it has on us and our everyday lifestyle. However, it is no surprise that it is doing us no good. It is holding us back from becoming the best version of ourselves in many ways. Let us try and stop the cycle of criticizing and complaining.

How is Criticizing and Complaining affecting your everyday lifestyle?

Why we criticize and complain?

Complaints are nothing but a mismatch of opinions and expectations. So, we never run out of reasons to complain in our everyday lifestyle. We are always going to have needs, beliefs, desires, expectations, and habits which are bound to collide with those of another person. In fact, we don’t have any control over that.

Criticism is taking that complaint a step further and being judgmental. Criticisms generally arise because of failing to express your feelings in the best way. It comes across as being hurtful and an attack, and the real issue remains unresolved. This is because a criticism is a non-specific statement, aimed to take a stab at one’s personality or habit.

Complain: Did you come in without taking off your shoes again? This is a everyday lifestyle trend for you.

Criticism: You are such a slob. You always toss your things around and undermine efforts to keep the house clean.

Get the drift? The complaint was followed with a criticism. Now the person on the receiving end feels the need to retaliate.

What does it do?

• Criticizing and complaining are both extremely destructive to relationships when it is a dig at one’s personality or character, rather than the isolated behavior.  It is essential to keep complaints isolated and not an attack at one’s entire being.
• Also if it is belittling and insulting rather than problem-solving, it might be a little rough. So think it through and don’t be petty.
• Criticism demands submission which humans are generally not fund of, and since they are not expecting it, the other person automatically gets defensive.
• For example, if your roommate usually does the dishes and has occasional not cleaning the house, claiming he ‘never picks up after him’ might be devaluing to his other efforts.

How to avoid or deal with it? everyday lifestyle

Incidentally, there is always a better way to express your words. Let us look at some ways we can express ourselves better

Admit: Take responsibility for your harsh words (if any) and admit that you could have done better.

Express: Let the other person know how you actually feel, rather than a blanket term. Tagging your feeling as hurt, angry, let down, misunderstood, etc. is far better than getting ‘mad’ in your everyday lifestyle.

Address the issue: Address the issue so that your partner knows exactly what you are upset about, in clear, calm words. There is a saying that goes “never touch the pot when it’s hot, or else you will get burned.” The same thing goes when frustrations run high. Never start a negotiation when you are still upset. Simply walk away and pick up the conversation later when things are calm.

Set expectations:  Have a problem-solving attitude and come to a conclusion which will resolve the issue as opposed to escalating it. therefore, set your expectation and express what you need, and let it go.

There are some things that we can control, and the other which we cannot. However, knowing one from the other is extremely important, as it helps us from a lot of stress and agitation in our everyday lifestyle. Hopefully, by understanding this further, we have helped you get a clearer picture on where to hold off.