Top 10 Ways to Look Like a Fool at the Gym

Top 10 Ways to Look Like a Fool at the GymA lot of people are afraid of the gym because they are self-conscious. They feel that eyes will be on them and they’ll be the butt of every joke. Just avoid these ten pitfalls of looking like a fool at the gym and you can feel secure that you aren’t the dumbest looking person that everyone is laughing at.

10. Playing Music on Loud Speaker of Your Cellphone or iPod.
Virtually any gym you go to on the planet will have some music playing over their PA system. If you are one of the fortunate few of us to frequent a gym that plays music that actually makes sense for working out to, you may leave your headphones at home more often. One sure fire way to look like a fool in the gym and potentially be a nuisance to your neighbors is to play your garbage music out of the garbage speaker on your garbage cell phone. Just don’t.

9. Excessive Pacing
We all have to hype ourselves up for our next set from time to time. It’s reasonable to want to give it your all and that determination is what has placed your feet on the weight absorbing matting that is your gym’s floor. But there is another level- there is a limit on pacing. If you pace in front of your station for five minutes, scribble in your gym diary for five minutes, then vigorously pace for another five minutes, you are really just waiting for people to notice you and that’s douchey. Now we actually will watch when you do your set because we are wondering A. if you’ll ever do it. B. If you’ll ever get out of the way so we can use it like normal person. C. if you will fail miserably so we can laugh at your douchey defeat.

8. Inappropriate Apparel
Unless you are wearing jeans to be ironic, as in you will be benching 405lbs while rocking your denim, leave them at home. If you aren’t carrying a box containing a clean pair of basketball shoes in one hand, you shouldn’t be rocking socks and sliders to the gym. And a backwards fitted hat…

7. Overhyping In Between Sets
If you find yourself cursing out loud, talking junk to the weights, slapping yourself in the chest (or need we even say, the face!) you ARE freaking people out and you need to stop. Or maybe not so we can laugh at what a tool you are over a beer later. Uncontrollable aggression will intimidate people within arms-length, perhaps, but will just make you look like a fool who can’t control his emotions and has serious troubles that extend beyond the gym.

6. Claiming Too Many Things
Super setting is awesome. It’s a great way to pack on serious muscle and see solid results. Super setting can be a quick way to look like a fool in the gym when it’s you by your lonesome fending off person after person on the four machines you need for your one-man circuit. Oh, and we’re sorry for not realizing that all those dumbbells strewn about are yours too. Thanks for leaving the 5’s and the 100’s on the rack for us.

5. Leaving Piles of Weights
Not re-racking weights is a little self-centered sometimes. Don’t leave 500lbs on the squat rack for the next guy to break down because in addition to knowing how strong your thighs must be, he’ll also know how thick your skull is and how weak you are in social savvy. The only thing worse than leaving a bar loaded with weights is leaving a PILE of mismatched weights in the middle of the FLOOR. One 25 plate, a 10, and a 45 just in a little plate pyramid is a pain in the ass for the employees and the other patrons of your gym. If you think we don’t know it was you who left them, think again.

4. Broing Out More Than Working Out
The gym is our sanctuary. It’s a place we can go to have “me-time,” as well as see familiar faces and maybe exchange a few high fives and stories from the weekend. Unfortunately, some people view the gym more of a social club than a place for self-improvement. we mean this from the bottom of our heart: we love you bro, but please quit asking people's opinions and trying to get them to reenact scenes from The Wolf of Wall Street with you while they are leg pressing.

3. Incorporating Balance Balls in Every Exercise
There are a lot of unique ways to turn common exercises into complicated messes that work every stabilizer in your body. Sometimes this is effective and sometimes it’s EXCESSIVE. If you are carrying around a balancing tool into every one of your sets you will just look like a balancing tool.

2. Hitting on Girls
We all may be guilty to some degree of committing this crime. We are in the gym, after all, to look our best. Sometimes this is about personal fitness and feeling good in our bodies. A lot of times it is to increase our attraction and sex appeal. So, of course, a natural draw to the tight tummies of our gym darlings is expected. You begin to look foolish when you can be spotted receiving the 90’s hit, “talk to the hand,” gesture and rolling straight to the next sweetie on a yoga mat. People have memberships to their gym. They come often. They will remember you.

1. Curling in the Squat Rack
Unless you are on an NFL team, squat racks are going to be in relatively short supply. They are expensive for the gyms and they take up a lot of space. Smith machines are not squat racks. They are smith machines. I cannot fathom why anyone doing curls would require an entire squat rack for the most basic motion that is a simple bicep curl. You not only look foolish standing in there, but everyone hates you.

Avoid these ten pitfalls of foolishness and you can be a person who makes friends in the gym.