The moment is right. You’re in a romantic setting. Your partner’s in the mood. Both of you are definitely aroused. Can someone please relay the message to your penis?! What’s the deal? It can be both frustrating and embarrassing when an erection doesn’t appear on cue. However, sexual performance anxiety is completely natural and it happens to men of all ages.
In the vast majority of cases, the anxiety portion of sexual performance anxiety is the culprit. When we become anxious, our body starts sending and receiving signals to constrict blood vessels and rush blood to core body systems like the heart and lungs. In doing so, less blood is available in the body to help even the healthiest of men create and sustain an erection. As well, the lack of blood running to the brain during stress leads to a lack of focus, which can interfere with the arousal process. “But I’m not stressed about sex,” you say... stress and anxiety can be tricky, sneaky things. Sometimes what you perceive as excitement about the situation may also have an uninvited bit of stress riding along with it. The situation itself might be filled with anxiety and stress. Is it make-up sex after a fight? First-ever encounter or first in a while after some time apart? Is it a crucial moment in the relationship like an engagement or marriage? These can all get in the way of your usual sexual routine.
To overcome a less-than-impressive or total lack of erection, try extended foreplay, some pillow talk, or a change of venue. Sometimes moving from the bedroom to the shower can shake things up enough to get yourself out of your own way. Focus your thoughts on the pleasurable parts of sex and stop worrying about what could go wrong. And most importantly talk, talk, talk. Keep communicating with your lady and you guys will be tearing up the sheets in no time.