One of the most millennial terms of this century is friends with benefits. It gives you all the relationship benefits without a real-life relationship, and there are no strings attached between you two. It is quite liberating that you can go to that person without any constraints and reap all the benefits of a relationship without even having one. But, with time it certainly gets complicated. As we are all humans and emotions and feelings will slowly creep in. Just like any other relationship in your life has its own sets of rules, so does friends with benefits. So it is very important to define the rules and stick to them.
The first rule in friends with benefits relationship, it is best to be transparent about your needs and expectations. One should be open to communications and promise never to judge each other during the relationship. Honesty is always best in any conversation. It keeps things healthy between the two of you without having to compromise on individual grounds. Explaining to the other person your wants, needs and expectations is the first rule for being friends with benefits, you must be transparent for it work.
You should be exactly sure about this relationship because there is a very tin lines between your wants needs and expectations. So that your true intentions and feelings that started this relationship remain the same. If you start having expectations about this turning into a full-blown relationship, the whole purpose would be defeated and you will end up feeling hurt and miserable. Always follow the rules from the start and never pressure your friend to do or say anything that you will regret.
Honesty is the key to friends with benefits. You should keep communication and transparency open between you and your friend at all time to know how he or she is feeling. The discussion can be about anything starting from sex to work life. This is to make sure that you both are on the same page. This is one of the most important things to take care of, to not hurt anyone feelings down the line. If in the future you feel a little dicey about a situation you should always feel confident to talk about it.
The last thing you want in friends with benefits relationship is the risk of getting pregnant or get an STD. It is very important to wear condoms or find the right birth control solution because at the end of the day this is just friendship and not a relationship. Thus, you will never want to complicate your beautiful connection with unwanted emergency like pregnancy stress.
Cuddling and sleepovers can make you feel very close to someone because as human beings we all enjoy someone taking care of us this can be really dangerous for the relationship. This may lead to feelings that can furthermore complicate things and make you fall for that person. Every once in awhile sleepover can be fine, but it can be really dangerous if it becomes a habit. The final note is, even if you say okay to sleepovers, it is the cuddling that you should try not doing.
If your partner starts seeing someone or is sleeping around with multiple partners make sure you do not get jealous. Since it can lead to malicious intentions. Honesty plays a very important role here as you should tell each other about your sexual activity so there is no reason for jealousy. However, at the end of the day, if you start feeling jealous because your partner is seeing other people. It is time for you to quit the friend with benefits set up. Jealousy in friends with benefits is a total no-no.
The one individual that should never be a part of the entire friends with benefits setup is an Ex. Your ex can never be your friend because technically he or she is still your Ex. So, stop including them in your other relationships to complicate things. Also, another no go area is having a friends with benefits relationship with your Ex. As older emotions can surface and make things ugly again. It is important for you to keep a check on your emotional tab and say no. Having friends with benefits with your ex will bring along emotional attachments and you will be back to square one without even realizing.
Your partner is still your friend first, so, never ever make them feel like they are only there for sex. It is always important to respect their feelings and not make them feel like trash or someone you are only physical with. Although it will never turn into a relationship, it is very important to maintain the friendship that started the entire setup of friends with benefits.
It is one thing to say that ‘we are having sex without any emotional attachment‘, but it is also very tough to maintain such a relationship with no boundaries. Because as human beings for most of us emotions and sex go hand in hand and they are tied to our feelings. It is important to follow all the do’s and don’ts in a modern-day relationship like friends with benefits because while you might have great sex without any string attach in the long run you could lose a good friend. So that ultimate catastrophe doesn’t happen it is important to have a rulebook that you both religiously follow. Finally, every problem can be solved when you talk about it. Issues with underlying problems in any relationship can be solved when the two individual sit down, talk and troubleshoot it.
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